


Funny

by boleyn13



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Aftermath, Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Civil War Team Iron Man, Dialogue-Only, Gen, Lawyers, Legal Drama, Post-Captain America: Civil War (Movie), Sokovia Accords
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-20
Updated: 2017-10-20
Packaged: 2019-01-20 09:15:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,267
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12429684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/boleyn13/pseuds/boleyn13
Summary: “Did you or did you not refuse Sergeant Barnes his basic right to see his attorney?”“No.”“No?”“No, I did not refuse him the right of legal representation.”“Oh? How come then that both Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson gave identical statements that when Steve Rogers asked for a lawyer, you replied with a single word? Funny.”“That’s correct.”“And you still claim that you didn’t deny Sergeant Barnes the right of legal representation?”“Yes.”“How on earth is that possible?”“Easy. In the English language the word ‘funny’ doesn’t mean ‘I hereby deny you the right of legal representation.”





	Funny

**Author's Note:**

> Hello everybody,
> 
> Same as ever - I stumbled over an anti-Tony, anti-accords oneshot and was once again amazed by how little understanding some peoople of legal documents have :D
> 
> Anyway, so many people complain about how Everett Ross denied Bucky an attorney - here we go ;)

“Will you please state your name and occupation?“

“Everett Ross. Commander of the Joint Terrorist Centre.”

“The defence may start their questioning.”

“Thanks, your honour. Commander Ross, thank you for joining us today. I appreciate your cooperation since you are a very busy man.”

“Indeed I am. Somebody has to clean up the mess your client has left behind in half of Europe.”

“Right… Commander, it was your agents who apprehended Sergeant Barnes also known as the Winter Soldier?”

“My men apprehended the Winter Soldier, the Falcon and Captain America in Bucharest with the help of Colonel Rhodes. You will need to phrase your questions more precise or we will be here all day.”

“I’ll try a precise question. Were your men in Bucharest for the specific reason to kill Sergeant Barnes?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No. Oh, you would like me to elaborate?”

“Yes, please. I am very interested in hearing how your men were not in Bucharest to kill Sergeant Barnes, without any proof of him being behind the UN bombing, when Agent Carter, a member of your agency, can testify that there was an order to shoot him on sight.”

“Agent Carter may have been a member of the agency, she isn’t anymore because of treason, passing on information and theft. She was never a member of the taskforce. She never put a single foot into Romanian territory. The task force had permission to use lethal force if the Winter Soldier should resist arrest. Or if they should find him in a situation that would endanger civilians or their own. They were dealing with an enhanced individual who is responsible for over 50 assassinations. Someone highly dangerous.”

“Glad that you mentioned the UN bombing. A tragedy that Sergeant Barnes wasn’t involved in. At the time you tried to… let’s say apprehend him… you had no proof that he was responsible for the bombing.”

“There was video footage.”

“Fake video footage.”

“Unfortunately we didn’t know that at the time, but even if there had been no video footage at all, it would not have made any difference.”

“How so?”

“Over 50 assassination? The Winter Soldier was one of the most sought after killers of this century. We learned about his whereabouts, he was going to be apprehended anyway. Luckily the task force got to him when he was in his apartment. A place with a slim risk of endangering bystanders or civilians. Unfortunately Steve Rogers got to the apartment before my task force, attacked my men and helped the Winter Soldier flee. Given the excessive brute force that both Steve Rogers and the Winter Soldier used against the task force, it would have been reckless and irresponsible to risk their escape. Civilians were clearly endangered. So several back up teams were sent after them and were eventually able to apprehend them. I regret deeply that this apprehension didn’t happen as planned. In the apartment. A relatively safe place. Definitely safer than a tunnel during rush hour full of cars. Your client is to blame for that.”

“Isn’t it more like your men chased Captain Rogers and Sergeant Barnes towards a highly frequented area? Leaving them no choice since their lives were in danger?”

“Seriously? Is this question for real?”

“Commander Ross, please answer the question.”

“Fine… I will answer your ridiculous question. No. My men were to apprehend the Winter Soldier in his apartment. With the help of Captain America he severely wounded most of them, then jumped of a balcony, down a roof and when the back-up teams caught up with them, they were already on a highly frequented street. Their lives were only in danger, because they were resisting arrest. Why am I am summing this up? You already know that. Everybody knows that. My men, good agents, are still in hospital or recovering while the Winter Soldier and Captain America walked away just fine. How come they were properly arrested and not viciously killed if that was the intention all along?”

“Fascinating, Commander. Would you mind leaving the questions to me?”

“Gladly…”

“So you claim that the apprehension and arrest of the Winter Soldier happened according to protocol? Everything completely correct? Proper police work?”

“I work for the CIA not the police, but yes. Everything was handled professionally.”

“Most wonderful to hear that. I am really grateful that we can rely on our intelligence agencies to do such good work. Now I am merely wondering… if everything happened according to rules of conduct, why did you refuse Sergeant Barnes his fundamental right to talk to an attorney?”

“Really? That’s what this is all about? That’s why you dragged me into this courtroom, wasting my time?”

“Stalling won’t help you with this Commander.”

“I am not stalling, I am calling Steve Rogers stupid for telling his lawyer to go down his route.”

“Did you or did you not refuse Sergeant Barnes his basic right to see his attorney?”

“No.”

“No?”

“No, I did not refuse him the right of legal representation.”

“Oh? How come then that both Steve Rogers and Sam Wilson gave identical statements that when Steve Rogers asked for a lawyer, you replied with a single word? Funny.”

“That’s correct.”

“And you still claim that you didn’t deny Sergeant Barnes the right of legal representation?”

“Yes.”

“How on earth is that possible?”

“Easy. In the English language the word ‘funny’ doesn’t mean ‘I hereby deny you the right of legal representation.”

“So you don’t believe that one could interpret your response as dismissive.”

“Steve Rogers can interpret everything the way he wants. He likes doing that. Especially the law.”

“Objection.”

“Sustained. Jury will disregard.”

“Commander, this was a serious situation. People had died, severe property damages had been caused… Steve Rogers was legitimately concerned, so why did you feel the need to reply with ‘funny’.”

“Because I thought that Steve Rogers of all people asking for lawyer was hilarious.”

“You can explain that?”

“Only half a day before the arrest Steve Rogers had not partaken in the UN conference, because he had not signed the Sokovia Accords. Legal documents that would finally legalize the Avenger’s status as an international task force against terrorism, hostile enhanced individuals and threats from space. Documents that clearly state what the Avengers legally can and cannot do. They would have also provided them legal support if they should find themselves in a situation that would require legal support. In the course of an investigation for example. Steve Rogers didn’t show up and stated several times that the Accords are wrong, controlling and heavily criticized Tony Stark for signing them. In Bucharest Steve Rogers violated countless laws and showed not a hint of remorse and yet immediately asked for a lawyer for his friend although he more than obviously despises the law and legal framework. Or maybe he does think the law and international agreements are a good thing… when they suit him. So yes, I thought him asking for a lawyer was extraordinarily funny.”

“So uhm…”

“Especially since Tony Stark had already been calling the legal support from the UN council and his own lawyers hours before they had even arrived at the Joint Terrorist Centre in Berlin. I think he also had the Romanian government on the phone, but I am not exactly sure. Come to think of it, it’s even funnier now. Barnes himself never asked for a lawyer, so I couldn’t deny him anything. Maybe Rogers just loves doing thing for him. Are we done now? I would like to go back to work now. You’ve said it yourself, I am a very busy man.”

**Author's Note:**

> If you start spamming my inbox by posting the same comment over and over again - I'll delete your comments


End file.
